Destiel Moments
by KPs Number 1 Fan
Summary: I took a series of moments from the show between Castiel and Dean and added things I think would've made them even more romantic! This is my first Destiel fic ever! Please review I'd love to know what everyone thinks
1. On The Head Of Pin

Season 4

Episode- "On The Head Pin"

Uriel had just left in a flutter of wings, Dean and Castiel were left alone in the run down factory. Dean turned to Castiel," You guys don't walk enough you're gonna get flabby." He joked. Castiel stared at him confused not getting it as usual. Dean shrugged, " You know I'm starting to think Chuckles has a better sense of humor than you do." "Uriel's the funniest angel in the garrison ask anyone." Castiel replied in his usual serious tone. Dean looked slightly taken aback then he shook it off and approached Castiel," What's going on Cas, since when does Uriel put a leash on you?" Castiel looked away then he brought his eyes back up to meet Dean's, "My superiors have begun to question my sympathies." He stated simply. "Your sympathies?" Dean questioned raising an eyebrow. " I was getting to close to the humans in my charge...you." Dean looked stunned Castiel considered them to be close, he was pulled out of his thoughts by Castiel's voice, " They feel I've begun to express emotions, doorways to doubt, this could impair my judgment..." Before he could continue Dean cut him off, "Me?" Castiel turned away and looked down at the floor trying to hide the blush that he could feel creeping into his cheeks. "Yes I have strong feeling towards you... stronger than I've had for any other human..." He turned to face Dean and their eyes met. Castiel tried to fight back the blush but it was to late it was there and it wasn't going away. He hoped Dean wouldn't notice as he continued, "It's as if we're..." Castiel tried to find the words. "Friends?" Dean spoke up trying to finish the angel's thought and process all this as best he could. "Yes I suppose." Castiel said taking his gaze away from Dean and once again staring at the floor. Deep down he knew the feelings he had for Dean were much stronger than what humans called friendship but he couldn't admit that...not to Dean anyway. Dean stepped a little closer to the angel and placed a hand on his shoulder, "Cas.." Castiel looked back up at him Dean noted the slight redness on the angel's cheeks, he smiled 'He's actually kinda cute when he blushes.' His smile faded when he realized he had just actually thought that his male friend was cute! He decided to try and ignore it he could beat himself up about it later. "Cas, I'm asking you as a friend please don't make me do this." he finally spoke again. Castiel's heart sank hearing his friend's plea. He sighed, "If it were up to me I wouldn't but, I've been told it's necessary." Dean walked past him and over to the door, " You ask me to open that door and walk through it, you will not like what walks back out." his lips were trembling as he spoke those words. "For what it's worth, I'd give anything not to have you do this." Castiel said with a heavy heart.

...

Dean wheeled the cart of instruments up to the door, he paused, "Dean.." Castiel's voice called from behind him. Dean looked over his shoulder, "Yea." "Be careful." Castiel said sincerely concerned for his friend's safety. Dean just nodded and continued into the room. Castiel prayed to his Father to keep Dean safe, even though Alastair was completely bound there was always an element of danger involved in dealing with demons. Especially demons as powerful and tricky as Alastair.

...

Something wasn't right Castiel stared at the door it was quiet too quiet. He approached quickly and opened it his heart leapt when he saw Alastair was loose and had Dean pinned. He grabbed the knife off the table and lunged forward. He spun Alastair around and plunged the knife into his chest, unfortunately he had just missed Alastair's heart. The demon staggered back he looked down at the knife, "Almost" then up at Castiel, " Looks like God is on my side today." the smugness in his voice was all to evident. Castiel extended his hand and tried to use his power to maneuver the knife but Alastair took hold of it and pulled it out. He dropped the knife to the ground and lunged forward knocking Castiel back. Dean lay bloodied on the floor, 'I have to help Cas.' he thought and tried to get up but his body was too weak. The last thing he saw was Sam pinning Alastair to the wall then everything faded to black.

...

Castiel stood under the street lamp the cold night air blowing around him, "Anna.." He called to his sister. He waited but there was no response, "Anna please..." he tried once more. Seconds later the street light above him began to flicker, he turned to see Anna standing behind him. "Decided to kill me after all." she said coldly. "I'm alone." He said hoping to lighten the tension. "What do you want from me Castiel?" he asked tone still unchanged. Castiel sighed, "I'm considering disobedience." he admitted. Anna nodded, "Good." she was glad she had gotten though to he brother earlier if only a little. "No it isn't for the first time...I feel..." Castiel paused looking down. Anna smiled she knew what was troubling her brother, call it big sister's intuition. "It's Dean isn't it." she moved closer to him. Castiel remained silent for a minute, "Yes partially." he admitted reluctantly. Anna decided it was time to clear the air, "You don't have to worry..." she paused and placed a hand on his shoulder, " I won't try to come between you and I'm sorry for what I did, I don't love him I was just tyring to get back at you. You were trying to kill me after all." she laughed a little. "Forgive me?" she asked with her hand still firmly on Castiel's shoulder. His only response was to nod in agreement, Anna smiled again and pulled her little brother into a hug. Castiel sighed and buried his face in his sister's shoulder, "Anna..." He finally said just above a whisper. "Yea" she answered. "What's happening to me?" she could hear the fear in Castiel's voice. She softly stroked his head, " It's called love, and it's just the beginning, there are other emotions, it's confusing overwhelming even at times." Castiel groaned he didn't want this to get worse he wanted things to go back to the way they were. He pulled out of the hug, " I don't know what to do, please tell me what to do." Anna let out a small laugh, "Just like old times..." She wished she could, give Castiel an easy answer, make all his confusion go away but she couldn't not this time. " I'm sorry Cas, it's time to think for yourself." that was he final statement before she disappeared in a flutter of wings. Castiel was left there alone with his thoughts and still no clue as to how to handle these budding emotions.

...

Castiel appeared in Dean's hospital room he had just come from his battle with Uriel. He kept thinking that all that was going though his mind the entire time was that Uriel had put Dean in danger on purpose and would've gotten Dean killed if he had his way. He made his way over to Dean's bed, Dean was still asleep. " I'm so sorry Dean..." He reached out and lightly stroked the sleeping man's hair. "From now on I promise to protect you, I'll never let anyone harm you again." He leaned down and pressed a light kiss to Dean's cheek. He sat down in the chair next to the bed and relaxed he wanted to be there when Dean woke up. When Dean awoke hours later Castiel breathed a sigh of relief and when he started to cry after finding out he was the one that had to end the apocalypse Castiel wanted nothing more than to wipe his tears away and make all his pain disappear.


	2. Heaven and Hell

NOTE: Originally I was gonna put these in chronological order but it seems writing them as they pop into my head is working out really well so I'll always put the season and episode name so that you guys will know where it's from but they won't be in any particular order. Also I have adjusted the paragraphs as requested, just know that when there is dots between a paragraph that is the start of a new scene.(like the dot after the sentence _She stepped towards them, fists clinched at her sides, "Ok no more tricks…no more running…I'm ready"_) Alright, that's all thanks for reading and please review, I always appreciate your feedback!(^_^)

Season 4

Episode- "Heaven and Hell"

They all stood in the barn, the tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. They had just found out that Dean was the one who had told them where Anna was. Sam looked over at his bother, "Why?" his voice shook with anger. Dean remained silent only looking at Anna.

Anna looked at Dean then back at Sam, "Because they gave him a choice, they either kill me or kill you." She turned to face Uriel and Castiel, "I know how their minds work." She was furious Uriel, she could understand he had always been a cold unfeeling monster, but Castiel, Anna could sense that he knew this was wrong but he was going along with it anyway and that vexed her to no end.

Finally she turned to Dean, placed a hand on his shoulder and a soft kiss to his lips, "It's ok I forgive you , you did the best you could." she spoke as she pulled away.

Castiel felt a rush of emotions at the sight of his sister kissing Dean, he felt like crying and punching something all at the same time. Unfortunately though he couldn't do either not with Uriel there and as much as he wanted to disappear so that he could be alone and process all this he couldn't do that either. So he just stood there eyes cast down to the floor, trying to push back the hurt he didn't even understand why he was feeling. Anna looked over at Castiel satisfaction pulsed through her as she saw the hurt expression on her brother's face.

She stepped towards them, fists clinched at her sides, "Ok no more tricks…no more running…I'm ready"

…...

For once demons showing up was a good thing. Just as Anna had given herself up Alastair and two other demons popped into the room. Uriel attacked and exorcised one of the lesser demons while Castiel went for Alastair. He punched Alastair twice and placed a hand on his head in a attempt to exorcise him. Fear rushed through him when after a second nothing happened.

"Sorry kiddo why don't you go run to Daddy." Alastair said before he knocked Castiel's hands away then upper cut him in the chin knocking him to the ground.

Dean felt panic run through him when he saw Alastair knock Castiel to the ground. Alastair was kneeling over Castiel with his hands around Castiel's throat chanting in Latin. Something in Dean screamed "Protect him!" so he did. Dean grabbed the nearest crowbar and without hesitating he whacked Alastair in the face, effectively getting him off Castiel. Castiel who was shocked by what had just happened fell back to the ground with his eyes wide. Castiel stayed on the ground for a second partially trying to catch his breath since Alastair had just nearly strangled him and partially trying to figure out what just happened.

'Did Dean just risk his life to save me?' He thought to himself. He was pulled out of this thoughts by the sound of Uriel shouting, "NO!" then glass shattering. He sat up slightly to see Anna surrounded by a beautiful glowing blue cloud, it was her Grace. She opened her mouth took it all in and instantly was gone in a brilliant flash of white. Sam and Dean uncovered their eyes to see that Anna was gone and so was Alastair, most likely he had been destroyed by the flash. Dean looked over to Castiel who was still on the ground.

Dean walked over and extended a hand to help Castiel to his feet. "You ok?" Dean asked as he pulled him up. "Yes fine." Castiel said in a little bit of a daze. 'Thanks to you.' , he added in his mind.

Then he looked down and realized he was still holding Dean's hand . He blushed and reluctantly let go, "Thank you." he said meekly. "No problem." Dean smiled at him. Castiel was about to speak again when Uriel came over and joined them. Dean turned to him, "Well what are you waiting for, go get Anna, unless of course you're scared."

Anger boiled up in Uriel, "This isn't over…" He stepped towards Dean like he was about to attack. Castiel placed a hand on Uriel's shoulder as if to say, "Enough." Uriel stood down and Castiel relaxed. There was no way he was going to let Uriel hurt Dean, not after what Dean had just done for him. " Oh it looks over to me Chuckles." Dean said smugly. Castiel and Dean's eyes met in one last longing glance almost like there was something that needed to be said but neither could say it. In an instant both Castiel and Uriel were gone in a flutter of wings.


	3. Reading Is Fundamental

NOTE: SPOILER ALERT! IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THIS EPISODE YET I'D SUGGEST NOT READING THIS CHAPTER THERE ARE MAJOR SPOILERS. Also that last scene you can just call that a little extended addition. it didn't happen on the show but it's something I think should've happened lol

Season 7

Episode- "Reading Is Fundamental"

Sam and Dean followed Meg down the corridor till they finally arrived at Castiel's room. They looked in from the door and saw Castiel standing by the window staring out into the night. They walked in and Meg followed. Dean was a little worried but he pushed it aside, "Hey Cas." he spoke up. Slowly Castiel turned to face him " Hello Dean." he greeted Dean in his usual way. Dean let out a sigh of relief Castiel seemed normal and at least he was responsive. Castiel turned to Sam, "Sam." he nodded and smiled. "Hey Castiel." Sam said in awe.

Sam was amazed for once something good had happened for them Castiel seemed to be fully recovered and that was amazing. He was also glad for Dean's sake he knew how much his brother loved Castiel even though Dean would never admit it. Sam was pulled out of his thoughts by his brother's voice, "Well look at you walking and talking that's great right." Dean smiled as Castiel approached them.

Dean wanted nothing more than to throw his arms around Castiel and give him a big hug but with his brother and Meg in the room that wasn't going to happen. But when Castiel pointed his finger at them instructed Dean to pull it then blew out the lights, he knew something wasn't right. 'I knew it was too good to be true, miracles never happen to the Winchester family.' Dean thought sadly.

…...

They stood at the window talking, Castiel started babbling about honey bees and flowers. Dean nearly zoned out for a second it wasn't till Castiel started talking about Meg did he snap back to reality. "Will you look at her my caretaker, all that thorny pain…so beautiful." Castiel said and smiled at Meg almost lovingly. Dean's head was reeling, 'Beautiful! Did Cas just call a demon beautiful! And why is he looking at her like that! What the hell's been going on between these two while we were away?' he thought angrily but he tried his best to mask his bubbling rage.

Though it melted a little when Castiel grabbed him and Sam in a hug and said, " I love you guys." Dean would've thoroughly enjoyed hugging Castiel had he not also been pressed up against his brother at the time. It was awkward being so turned on and turned off all at the same time.

…...

Dean walked downstairs to the day room and found Castiel sitting at a table, his back to Dean. Dean sighed walked over, "You realize you just broke God's Word." he said as he took a seat in front of Castiel. Castiel remained silent and only smiled and averted his eyes slightly in response, he didn't want to argue with Dean so he figured silence was the best course. " It's Sam's thing isn't it? You taking on his…cage match scars. I'm guessing that's what broke your bank right?" Dean continued. "Well it took…everything to get me here." Castiel simply stated. "What are you talkin' about man?" Dean questioned thoroughly confused. He was genuinely worried about Castiel he wasn't acting like himself at all and he was making very little sense. " Dean I'm sorry I know you want different answers."

"No I want you to button up your coat and help us take down leviathans." Dean said his voice starting to shake with frustration. Castiel only stared at him somewhat absent mindedly and nodded slightly. Dean huffed then took a deep breath to try and calm down. "Do you remember what you did?" he asked. Castiel knew what he was referring to, he did remember, he remembered everything and he regretted it deeply. He didn't know how to convey this to Dean however because of Dean's frame of mind Castiel knew he wouldn't be in the mood to listen anyway.

So he decided to try and lighten Dean's mood and apologize at the same time. He reached for one of the games on the table, eyed it then turned the box to face Dean. Dean eyed it curiously, 'Sorry' it read. Castiel shook the box and suddenly the game was set up on the table. "Do you want to got first?" Castiel asked and Dean just looked at him.

…...

They had been playing for about five minutes now Castiel was going on about the dawn of time and Dean's frustration was growing by the second. " Cas where can we find this Metatron? Is he still alive?" Dean tried to sound as calm as possible. Castiel didn't answer his question instead he said, "I'm sorry I think you have to go back to start." Dean huffed moved the pawn the looked back up at Castiel, "This is important…" Castiel motioned for him to make a move in reference to the game. He did then went back to his original statement trying to keep his temper under control, " I think Metatron could stop a lot of bad."

"We live in a sorry universe, it's engineered to create conflict, I mean why should I prosper from your misfortune, but these are the rules I didn't make 'em." Castiel said as he moved some pieces around on the board. Dean scowled, "You made some of them.. When you tried to become God. When you cut that hole into that wall."

Castiel could feel the guilt bubbling up inside him at the mention of his past mistake. "Dean, it's your move." he said deflecting again Dean still wasn't calm enough Castiel didn't want to have this conversation yet. That was it Dean couldn't take this anymore his temper took over, he banged his fist on the table, "Forget the damn game!" He yelled as he flung the board off the table. Pieces flew everywhere, his rage cleared a little and he looked over at Castiel.

Castiel's eyes were cast down he looked so sad, Dean's heart softened a little. He loved Castiel and he didn't want to hurt him not even emotionally, " Look Cas, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled but this is the fate of the world we're talking about. " Castiel looked up a small tear rolled down his cheek, "Dean I was only trying to protect you I didn't mean for any of this to happen." Dean's heart broke at the sight of Castiel's tears immediately he got up, moved his chair to the other side of the table, and sat next to Castiel.

He took Castiel's hands, "Hey look at me…" Castiel looked up tears still streaming down his face. "It's gonna be ok." Dean tried to reassure him but it didn't work. "No it isn't, you hate me now…" Dean was about to speak but Castiel continued, " I should've come to you instead of Crowley, but you were so happy I didn't want to ruin it, then everything just got so out of hand , I know you can never forgive me but I am truly sorry it was a horrible mistake."

"Hey I can forgive you, I don't hate you, and we can get past this it's just going to take time." He placed a soft kiss on Castiel's forehead. He had realized he had been acting like kind of a jerk, Castiel had been through a lot and deep down Dean knew he had had good intentions even if the whole plan went bad. Castiel looked up at him, "I love you Dean." Dean heart leapt at those words, it wasn't the first time Castiel has said it but it still felt amazing to hear. " I love you to Cas." He leaned in and pressed a small kiss to Castiel's lips.

The kiss lasted a few seconds before Castiel pulled away, he looked around the room. "What?" Dean questioned. "They're here." Castiel stated still looking about the room. "Who?" Dean raised and eyebrow. "Angels." Castiel stood up. " Come on." He still had hold of Dean's hand and he tugged him towards the door. It wasn't till they got near the door to Castiel's room did they let go of each others' hands.

…...

Dean sat alone in the motel room, Sam had gone to get a bite to eat all the drama earlier had given him the late night munchies. Hester's words rang through Dean's head, he couldn't help wondering was it really true. He sighed, "Cas we need to talk please come." He prayed. Seconds later the angel appeared, "Uh oh, those are the four worst words in the English language I'm told." he joked and smiled at Dean but Dean didn't smile back. He just sighed again and patted the spot next to him on the bed. Castiel knew what Dean wanted and went to join him on the bed. He was starting to worry Dean looked so serious. "Dean what's wrong?" Castiel asked once he was seated next to Dean. Dean decided it was best just to come out with it rather than beating around the bush.

"Cas did I ruin your life?" Castiel blinked for a few seconds trying to make sure he'd heard what he thought he had. Finally he smiled, let out a small laugh, and answered, " Of course not what would make you ask something like that?"

"Well what Hester said and I've been thinking about everything that's happened since we've been together, you've lost and given up so much…" before Dean could continue. Castiel cut him off, "Dean stop it."

"But…" Dean tried to speak but Castiel put a finger to his mouth to silence him. "Listen to me…" Castiel continued, "Dean you are the best thing to ever happen to me, you set me free and taught me to think for myself. Hester thought I was lost because of you but the truth is I'd be lost if I had to be without you. I love you Dean more than anything and if I had the chance to do it all over, I'd rebel again just to be with you." He smiled and took Dean's hands in his own .

Dean was so touched he could barely speak, "Cas I…I don't deserve you." Dean knew he wasn't always the best partner and how he got someone as amazing as Castiel to love him he'd never know. A small laugh escaped Castiel's lips and he smiled, "Yes you do."

Dean pulled Castiel forward and their lips met in a passionate kiss. Castiel gave into the kiss fully letting go of Dean's hands and wrapping his arms around Dean. He ran his fingers through Dean's soft hair, Dean let his own hands caress the angel's back. He moved his hands up and down Castiel's spine causing the angel to let out a soft moan. By the time they broke the kiss they were both breathless. "Cas?" Dean panted. "Yes Dean"

"Stay here with me tonight." Dean asked taking Castiel's hands. Dean knew he sounded like a total girl but he didn't care he wanted Castiel to stay. Castiel smiled, "Of course I will."

When Sam got back to the room he saw his brother and Castiel laying down on the bed on top of the covers. They were facing each other, eyes closed, and smiles on their faces. Between them their hands were intertwined. Sam smiled to himself the next time Dean tried to call him a girl he'd just have to remind his brother of this little scene.


	4. The End

Season 5

Episode- "The End"

Dean walked in the cabin to find Castiel sitting in a circle of women. Castiel looked over noticed Dean and shot him a wink. "Excuse me ladies I think I need to confer with our fearless leader for a minute, why not go get washed up for the orgy ." At that Dean shot him look that said, "What the hell?"

Castiel got up and stretched as all the women left. Once they were gone he turned and approached Dean, "So baby what's up?" before Dean could even process the fact that Castiel had called him baby he snaked his arm around Dean's waist and pulled him into a kiss. Dean stood there stunned for a few seconds, then finally he reacted. He pushed Castiel away, "Dude, what the hell!"

Castiel backed away from him a little, "What's wrong?" then he took a good look at Dean, "Wait a second you're different, you're not you, well not now you anyway, what year are you from?" he eyed Dean curiously. "Ah.. 2009 dude what just happened?" Dean was still baffled that Castiel had kissed him. "Interesting, Zachariah did this to you didn't he?" Castiel asked ignoring Dean's question. " Yea, why the hell did you kiss me?.. Are we…" the words caught in Dean's throat "Da…dating?" Dean finally choked out. Castiel laughed, "No of course not we haven't dated in 2 years, we're married." Castiel held up his hand and there was a small gold band around his ring finger. Dean's eyes nearly popped out of his head, "MARRIED!" he exclaimed. Castiel nodded, "Yep for 3 years now." Castiel smiled.

"I married a guy! and an angel at that!" Dean was trying to wrap his head around all this. Castiel moved close to him again, "If it makes you feel any better I'm not an angel anymore." He lifted his hand and gently stroked Dean's cheek. Dean smacked his hand away, " No it doesn't…whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute if we're married what's with the village girls back there?" Dean said referring to the women Castiel was apparently about to have an orgy with. Castiel laughed again, "That?.. That was your idea, you wanted to keep our marriage under wraps, so we use the women as covers, Sam and Bobby were the only ones that even knew we got married."

Dean cocked an eyebrow, "And you're ok with that?" Castiel shook his head and stared at the floor, "No, not really I hate sleeping with all those women, I hate the idea of you doing the same, and I constantly feel like you're ashamed of me…" Castiel looked back up at Dean, he eyes glossy as if he was holding back the tears, "But, I love you and if this is the only way to be with you then I'll go along with it." Dean was about to speak but the sound of engines revving outside caught his attention. He walked out the door, Castiel followed and they saw Future Dean and his convoy driving back into the camp.

…...

Dean and Future Dean had just finished arguing about Future Dean killing a man in cold blood. When Dean said, " Oh and one other thing…" he paused "WE'RE MARRIED TO CAS!" he exclaimed. Future Dean's eyes went wide. He looked around, "Keep your voice down! How'd you find out about that anyway?" he scowled. "Well I went to have a little chat with Cas and he kissed me! What the hell so we're gay now?" Dean asked throwing his hands up in the air. Future Dean sighed, "Look I don't know if we're gay or straight or what all I know is that we love Cas."

Dean shook his head, " No you love Cas, I don't!" Dean put extra emphasis on 'you'. Future Dean frowned at him, "I'm you, you freaking idiot, we have the same emotions, you love him too you just don't wanna admit it and I get it I've been there…" Future Dean was about to continue but Dean cut him off, "If you love him so much then why are you making him feel like crap?"

"What?" Future Dean was thoroughly confused. "This whole keeping the marriage secret thing, it's tearing him apart." Dean explained. Future Dean sighed, "Look around, do you really think the people in this camp would be accepting to that kinda thing, these people aren't our family, hell most of them aren't even our friends, I'm protecting him and myself too, he thinks things are rough now, well they would get a lot rougher if everyone found out about us and I won't let that happen, I love him too much to let that happen." Future Dean stared at Dean intensely his voice was shaking with sadness and frustration. Dean just stood there what could he say, Future Dean knew this time and these people better than he did so how could he argue.

…...

Dean and Castiel were riding in the car when Castiel took out a bottle opened it and popped 3 white pills into his mouth. Dean eyed him, "Let me see that." he reached for the bottle. "Want some?" Castiel handed it to him. Dean read the bottle, "Amphetamines?" Dan put the bottle down and looked at Castiel, "So what you're some kinda drug addict too?"

Castiel laughed, "Well, I'm not an angel anymore, the world's gone to hell, and my husband is constantly screwing random women. I think I've earned the right to a little something to take the edge off, don't you?" he looked over at Dean.

Dean sighed, "Look man I'm sorry for what future me is doing to you, but he does love you…a lot." Dean half smiled to himself at the thought. Castiel smiled too, " Thank you Dean, you're very sweet." he reached over and patted Dean's knee. Dean cleared his throat awkwardly, not used to Castiel touching him like that, "You're welcome."

…...

They finally reached their destination and everyone got out of the cars. Future Dean walked over to Castiel, "Lets talk." Dean watched as Castiel and his future self strode away from the vehicles and the group. "What's with them?" Risa asked Dean. He only shrugged in response.

Once they were out of sight they stopped and turned to face each other. "Babe, couldn't this wait." Castiel questioned. Future Dean took Castiel's hands and kissed them, "No, no it couldn't…" he paused and looked up into Castiel's eyes, "Cas, there's something I need you to know…" Castiel remained silent and just stared at him. "I…I know this marriage hasn't exactly been ideal…" Future Dean started.

"Dean.." Castiel tried to interject but Future Dean wouldn't let him, "No let me finish, I know it hasn't been ideal but I need you to know, I love you with all my heart and I don't want you to think for a second that I don't." He leaned in and gave Castiel a soft sweet kiss. Castiel smiled into the kiss it had been awhile since he's heard Dean say those words and it felt so good to hear them. They broke the kiss, "I love you too." Castiel breathed. Castiel collapsed into Future Dean's chest and Future Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel. They stood there in each others embrace for a few minutes, both wishing that this could last forever.

"We…should get back they're probably starting to wonder." Castiel reluctantly stated. Future Dean sighed, "Yea…" He kissed Castiel once more, a small tear rolled down his cheek as he did so. When they broke the kiss Castiel looked at Dean, "Babe are you crying?"

"I just don't want to lose you." Future Dean admitted the tears starting to flow a little more. Castiel smiled and wiped Future Dean's tears away, "Don't worry you won't, I'm not going anywhere." Castiel leaned in and kissed Future Dean again. " Now come on, if we don't get back soon they'll be suspicious." He took Future Dean's hand and lead him back towards the group. They released each other's hands when they got in sight of the cars.

…...

They were outside the building where Lucifer was hiding out. "Hey…me can I talk to you for a sec." Dean lead Future Dean away from the group. Once they were out of ear shot, " Tell me what's going on." Dean demanded. "What?" Future Dean tried to play innocent but Dean wasn't going for it. "I know you, you're lying to these people and to me."

"Is that so." Future Dean kept up the charade. "Yea see I know you're lying expressions , I've seen them in the mirror, now there's something you're not telling us." Future Dean wasn't going to give in, "I don't know what you're talking about." he lied. "Oh really well I don't seem to be the only member of your posse with some questions so maybe I'll just take my doubts over to them." Dean turned to leave. "Ok whoa, whoa , whoa , whoa wait…" Future Dean stopped him. He finally admitted that he knew this was a trap and that he was going to use his friends as decoys.

"You mean you're gonna feed your friends into a meat grinder…Cas too?" Dean asked unable to believe his ears. Future Dean paused for a long while then finally answered, "Yea him too.. Look what you said yesterday really hit home, I've tried to deny it or ignore it but I can't do that anymore. Cas is suffering and it's my fault. I know neither of us will ever leave the other, we love each other too much, so this is the only way, I'm going to put an end to his suffering. At least I'll have the comfort of knowing he died knowing how much I loved him." Future Dean cast his eyes down trying to force back the tears that threatened to come.

"Aw man something is broken in you, you're making decisions I would never make." Dean shook his head. Future Dean nodded, "You're right you wouldn't." Dean turned to go back to the group, "Well I'm not gonna let you do this."

"Oh really?" Future Dean questioned. Dean turned back around to look at him, "Yea…" Before he could finish his sentence Future Dean punched him, knocking him out cold. Then he headed back to the group, he gave them a story that he and his past self would bring up the rear and that they should go ahead. They did as instructed because they trusted him. Future Dean's heart sank as he watched Castiel head into the building. He knew this would be the last time he'd ever see his beloved husband alive.

…...

Dean woke up to the sound of gun shots. He headed to the back of the building only to be greeted with the scene of Lucifer in Sam's body snapping his future self's neck. They talked, Dean thought Lucifer was gong to kill him but he didn't. Seconds later Zachariah appeared and zapped him back to 2009. He implored Dean to say yes to Michael once more and when Dean refused he was ready and willing to torture the lesson into Dean. He would have too had Dean not disappeared before his eyes.

Dean spun around taking in his surroundings and looked at Castiel, "Pretty nice timing Cas." he smiled at the angel. Castiel smiled back, "We had an appointment." he stated simply. Dean smiled and figured what the heck. He hugged Castiel, "Don't ever change." he said still holding Castiel. "Ah, I won't." Castiel hugged Dean back although he was completely caught off guard by it. He wondered what could've happened to cause Dean to act like this but he wasn't complaining.

As Dean let go of Castiel he thought of his future self and future Castiel being in love and married. He decided it was just one of Zachariah's tricks. That's probably what all the angels thought since Castiel rebelled to save him. It just had to be a trick, he didn't love Castiel and he knew there was no way Castiel could love him. Still though he wouldn't admit it, there was a tiny part of him that had hoped it wasn't a trick.


	5. Free To Be You and Me

_Sorry I took so long to update had a lot going on but it's finally here, hope you guys enjoy it!(^_^)_

Season 5

Episode- "Free To Be You And Me"

Castiel stood in Dean's motel room asking for Dean to help him find and trap Raphael. Dean stood over by the sink looking at Castiel, "You're serious about this?" he asked. Castiel turned to face him, "Yes." Dean started to walk towards him, "So what you're Thelma and I'm Louise and we're just gonna hold hands and sail off this cliff together?" Dean asked sarcastically as he walked. Castiel didn't reply he just stood there staring, confusion swimming in his bright blue eyes. As usual he didn't understand Dean's reference but he did like the idea of he and Dean holding hands.

Dean sighed, "Give me one good reason I should do this." He walked past Castiel and started fiddling in his duffle bag. "Because you're Michaels' vessel and no angel will dare harm you." Castiel stated. Dean looked up at Castiel, "Oh so I'm you bullet shield." Dean asked a little offended. Castiel sighed, "Dean of course not you know I would never put you in danger…"

'I love you.' Castiel added in his head, he had to nearly bite his tongue to keep it from coming out with the rest of the sentence. "Dean please I need you're help because you're the only one that will help me." Castiel pleaded. He stared at Dean with those intense blue eyes. Dean stared back Castiel was so close to him Dean could almost feel his breath, 'Wow he has beautiful eyes' Dean thought then he mentally slapped himself for it. 'Cas is a guy you can't think like that about him!' he scolded himself. "Dean.." Castiel called and Dean realized he had been staring . "Alright fine, where is he?" Castiel smiled at him, "Maine." he raised two fingers to teleport himself and Dean there but Dean stopped him.

"Whoa, whoa…" he pushed Castiel's hand away, "Last time you zapped me someplace I didn't poop for a week…we're driving." Castiel didn't like the slowness of a car he preferred angel travel but it would allow him to spend more time with Dean and that thought made him happy. He was actually very much looking forward to the ride now.

…...

Dean and Castiel sat in the old rundown house. Castiel had just told Dean how little his chances of surviving were. " So last night on Earth, what.. What are your plans? Dean asked. Castiel thought about it for a minute, he would really like to spend his last night with Dean but he thought saying that may freak him out so he settled on, "Just thought I'd sit here quietly."

Dean cocked an eyebrow, "Dude come on anything, booze…women…" Castiel looked at him nervously then averted his gaze. Women was the last thing he wanted. "You have been with a woman before or an angel at least?" Dean questioned. Castiel blushed he hadn't, nor had he ever wanted to, and he never felt embarrassed about this fact until now.

Castiel shifted uncomfortably and rubbed the back of his neck, " I never had occasion ok." he stated wishing Dean would change the subject because Castiel's cheeks were getting redder by the second. It was then that Dean declared he wasn't going to let Castiel die a virgin. Suddenly he grabbed Castiel's arm, his heart leapt. He thought Dean was leading him upstairs to the bedroom but they turned and went out the door to the car. Castiel felt both relieved and disappointed as they got in and started to drive.

…...

Castiel and Dean sat in a booth at the brothel, scantily clad women were everywhere walking about. Castiel sat there with a look of sheer panic on his face. He didn't want to be there and he didn't want his first time to be with some strange woman. He looked over at Dean and he was positively glowing , grinning from ear to ear as he watched the women walk by. 'At least he's enjoying this.' Castiel thought. Finally Dean turned to look at Castiel and noticed the look on his face, "Hey relax."

"This is a den of iniquity I should not be here." Not long after Castiel said that a woman in white lingerie strode over. Her name was Chastity and Dean all but threw Castiel into her arms. She lead him to the back into one of the rooms. Once they were inside she closed the door and lead him over to the bed. He sat down, she took the money out of his hand sat it on the night stand next to the bed, then sat down in his lap. "You're really tense, is this your first time?" Chastity asked as she started to undo his tie and the top buttons of his shirt. "Yes." Castiel replied shakily.

She smiled at him, "Guess I'll just have to make it extra special then." She started to kiss up his neck until finally reaching his lips. They laid back on the bed still kissing, Chastity was on top of Castiel and started nibbling at his ear. Castiel wasn't enjoying this at all, he didn't want to be there, and he didn't want her on top of him. Finally he decided he'd had enough, he sat up and gripped Chastity to keep her from falling backwards as he did so. "I can't do this." he said as he picked her up and sat her on the bed next to him. Chastity was complete caught off guard by his strength. Just looking at him he didn't seem like he would have the upper body strength to do that. So she just sat there for a few seconds blinking, finally she spoke, "What's wrong? I'm not good enough?" she sounded defensive.

"No, no that's not it, you're very beautiful." Castiel complimented her and she smiled. "It's just that…" He paused "I want my first time to be with the person I love." he finally admitted. "Aww that's so sweet, and I'm fine with just sitting here and talking." She flashed him a sweet smile. "I get to keep the money though." she quickly added. "Of course." Castiel nodded he didn't know why Dean had given him the money in the first place. She got up took the money off the night stand, stuffed it into her bra, then rejoined him on the bed.

"So you wanna tell me who this person is?" She asked referring to who Castiel was in love with. "His name is Dean." Castiel blushed slightly he had never admitted out load that he loved Dean to anyone but Anna. "Oh, so why don't you tell him how you feel?" She placed a hand on Castiel's shoulder. Castiel shook his head, " I can't I don't want to ruin our friendship besides I'm sure he doesn't feel the same." Chastity sighed sympathetically, "Well don't worry if you're meant to be together, you will be." she smiled at Castiel and he smiled back. He hoped she was right.

A minute or so passed then Chastity spoke again, "I guess we better get back up to the front." Castiel nodded in agreement and stood , "Yes Dean will be waiting." He started to head for the door. Chastity grabbed his arm, "Wait that guy you came with…that's Dean?" she questioned. "Yes." Castiel stated simply. "Wow he's handsome you're really lucky!" she stood up from the bed. Castiel just smiled and started to reach for the door again. Chastity grabbed his hand, "Hold on if that's Dean we can't just go back out there…" Castiel eyed her curiously, "Why not?" he finally asked. "Because we've been back here a good while he'll think we've been doing you know what and you want him to think you're still fresh for him right?"

Castiel hadn't understood at all what Chastity was talking about but the last part was what confused him the most so he decided to focus on that, "What do you mean fresh?" Chastity laughed, "You know still a virgin." she said in a hushed voice. "Oh." Castiel blushed as he finally got what she was talking about. Chastity took notice of his blush and giggled, 'He's so cute!' she thought. She placed a hand on his shoulder, "Don't worry I have a plan just follow my lead."

Dean was sitting at the bar talking with a woman in black lingerie when he heard a scream from the back. 'Oh no.' he thought and rushed to the back knowing almost certainly that scream had something to do with Castiel. He was proven right when he went through the back curtain and was confronted with the scene of Chastity yelling at Castiel. After she stormed off Dean walked up to Castiel, "What the hell did you do?"

Castiel shrugged, "I don't know…I just looked at her in the eyes and told her it wasn't her fault that her father Gene ran off, it was because he hated his job at the post office." He lied as Chastity had instructed him to do. Seconds later to muscular men in black shirts started towards them. "We should go…come on." Dean grabbed Castiel's arm and dragged him out the back door.

Once they were safely outside Dean started to laugh like crazy. Castiel smiled at him, "What's so funny?" Dean threw his arm around Castiel's shoulder, "Nothing…" He smiled whole heartedly and they started to walk to the car, "It's been a long time since I've laughed that hard." Dean removed his arm as they got closer to the car. Castiel felt a little sad, he was really enjoying Dean holding him. He was happy to see Dean laughing and cheerful though even if he didn't exactly understand why.

…...

They pulled up to the house in the Impala Dean complaining because Castiel's summoning spell hadn't worked. They got out and headed in the house. Immediately Castiel sensed something was wrong. "Dean wait!" He grabbed Dean's hand and pulled Dean behind him protectively. Raphael appeared in the middle of the room bolts of lightening shooting from his back and blacking out the room. Castiel knew Raphael wouldn't hurt Dean but he still felt the need to protect him.

Raphael turned and glared at Castiel, "Castiel… it is a testament to my unending mercy that I don't smite you here and now." Castiel gulped. Dean spoke up, "Or Maybe you're full of crap!…" He paused when Raphael glared at him but then he got his courage back and continued, "Maybe you're afraid God will bring Cas back to life again and smite you!…By the way hi I'm Dean."

Raphael's frown didn't waver an inch, "I know who you are Dean Winchester, Michael's vessel and Castiel's…lover." Castiel's eyes widened and so did Dean's, Dean was about to say something but Castiel spoke first, "We are just friends!" he stated almost too defensively.

"Oh really? I wasn't aware that male friends held hands." Raphael stated in his usual dry emotionless tone. It was then that Castiel and Dean looked down and realized they were indeed still holding hands. Castiel blushed and reluctantly let go of Dean's hand. Dean felt a slight sadness when Castiel had let go of his hand he didn't understand why.

"Where is He?" Castiel asked trying to change the subject. Raphael laughed, "Who God? Even if I did know what makes you think I'd tell you?" he stepped forward slightly. Dean pulled out his lighter and stepped from behind Castiel, "Because we knew you were coming." Dean threw the lighter down and a circle of flames surrounded Raphael.

"Now tell us where He is." Castiel demanded. Raphael just stood there calm as ever. "Dead… He's dead." he finally spoke. Castiel went pale, "You're lying." he said, voice trembling. "Oh am I? Do you remember the 20th century, think the 21st is going any better, you think God would've let any of that happen if He were alive?" Raphael crossed his arms.

Castiel just stood there in silence, the thought of his Father being dead made him sick. Castiel could hear Dean and Raphael going back and forth in the background but he was too caught up in his own thoughts to pay attention. Through all the back and forth one sentence did manage to stick out, it was Raphael saying that they were living in a Godless universe. Suddenly Castiel felt as if he wanted to cry, he batted back the tears. Raphael blowing out the windows finally brought him out of his semi trance and back to reality. Castiel almost gave in to believing Raphael when he thought of something.

"If God is dead, why have I returned, who brought me back?" Castiel yelled over the wind and rain that whipped around them. Raphael seemed to be un-phased by Castiel's question, "Did it ever occur to you that maybe Lucifer raised you?" he said smugly.

Castiel tensed up, "No." Anger coated his usually calm voice. " Think about it he needs all the rebellious angels he can find, you know it adds up." Castiel scowled. Raphael was right it did add up but Castiel was unwilling to accept that answer.

He had enough, Raphael wasn't going to help them and this little conversation was only serving to upset him more and more by the second. Castiel turned to Dean, "Lets go." he turned to leave the house. As he did Raphael warned Castiel not to leave him there but Castiel didn't pay any attention to Raphael he just stormed out of the house.

Dean followed quickly behind, when he got outside he looked over at the car. Castiel was already sitting inside, head in his hands. Dean ran over and got in quickly he was getting soaked just standing there. Castiel looked up when he heard the door open then he quickly turned to stare out the window, trying to hide the tear stains that trailed down under his eyes. Castiel's effort had failed though Dean did notice and he wanted to say something to comfort his friend but he thought it would be best to wait until they were safely away from the house. With all that rain whipping around who knows how much longer that circle would hold Raphael.

…...

Dean sped down the road, they had been driving for a good while and were far from the house. He looked over at Castiel, "You ok?" He asked but Castiel didn't answer. "Hey who cares what some ninja turtle says Cas, I mean there where plenty of times when my dad was missing and all the signs pointed to him being dead but I knew in my heart that he was still alive. So forget what he said what do you believe?" Castiel smiled at Dean's attempt to comfort him. "I believe He's out there."

"Good then go find him." Dean looked over at Castiel. Castiel was about to leave then he paused, "What about you?"

"Me?" Dean questioned. "Honestly I'm good, I can't believe I'm saying that but I'm really good." This wasn't the first time Dean had been on his own. "Even without your brother?" Castiel asked he was still worried Dean would be lonely. Dean sighed, "Especially without my brother…" The silence in the car was heavy, Dean decided to lighten the mood, "Besides if we spend too much time together the rest of your family will find out we're dating too." He looked over at Castiel and winked.

Castiel's eyes widened, "We…are...wait what?" his heart started to race did Dean actually like him. Dean laughed, "Relax Cas it's just a joke."

"Oh of course." Castiel tried to hide his disappointment. He sighed inwardly of course it had been a joke Dean would never really love him he thought sadly. "I had better get going." Castiel said and disappeared before Dean could reply. Dean just sat there he hoped his making that joke hadn't scared Castiel away he knew the angel was totally clueless when it came to humor.


End file.
